
I dedicate this re-post to World Cup-predicting Paul the Octopus, who has died.

I dedicate this re-post to World Cup-predicting Paul the Octopus, who has died.
For the World Cup, North Korea banned broadcasting the games live to avoid potential embarrassment. Oh but then they only lost 2-1 to the mighty Brazil, so the next game became North Korea’s first live sports broadcast ever. Unfortunately, in that game, North Korea lost to Portugal by a staggering 7 points. So naturally, as any reasonable government would, North Korea held a six-hour public inquiry, heaping criticism and shame on the players.
However, media in South Korea said the players got off lightly by North Korean standards.
“In the past, North Korean athletes and coaches who performed badly were sent to prison camps,” a South Korean intelligence source told the Chosun Ilbo newspaper.
Buzz Feed gives us the 10 best pictures of Mick Jagger watching the World Cup.

Lost in the depths of Outer Space, Dave and Jeff still find time to discuss hilarious news items about the misery of the North Korean people and Afghan suicide bombers’ premature suicides, which are both comedy gold. Also: Mark Twain, tiny penises, drunk parrots, and swears.
Referees for the World Cup have studied some English profanities, so they can book players who use them.