Female Muscovy ducks have spirally, squiggly vaginas that keep out undesired penises. For desired penises, they simply relax their muscles to allow entry. They have evolved this capacity while male Muscovy ducks have evolved 8-inch penises that get fully-erect in a third of a second.
Friends, duck sex is a high-stakes world.
This installment concerns transgressions. Like a woman misusing her vagina. Like a man with a ridiculous haircut becoming suddenly camera-shy. Like Mormons who long to have sex and grow beards. Dave and Jeff also attempt to write at least one decent knock-knock joke. Spoiler alert. They fail.
Recent study: Religious identification doesn’t have much affect on the sex lives of college students. Though there is a bit of a difference when actual beliefs are considered rather than just self-identification as christian or whatever.
There are lots of other good nuggets in the story, like: Atheists and agnostics do fantasize more than religious people, and religion has no affect at all on infidelity.
I want to blockquote this entire article about the air sex championship in Japan. Air sex is like air guitar. Air sex can be dangerous. I repeat, air sex can be dangerous.
“On the day that I reached the top, the day I became world champion, I was thinking of my girlfriend. No, my ex-girlfriend. Shed just dumped me two days before the contest,” Cobra tells Weekly Playboy. “The air sex display I put on that day was, in my mind at least, supposed to be the farewell fling I really wanted to have with my girlfriend. It was the best possible condition I could have been in going into the competition.”
