Tag Archives: penises

Elephants have useful penises

 Elephants have useful penises

You see that skinny leg around where you’d expect the elephant’s penis to be? That’s his penis. He’s standing on his penis. It’s prehensile too. Which is nice because full-body humping is difficult with a big elephant body.

From Not Exactly Rocket Science, via Reddit.

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Cats have tiny spines on their penises

Regarding cat sex:

At first, the female will reject the male, but eventually the female will allow the male to mate. The female will utter a loud yowl as the male pulls out of her. This is because a male cats penis has a band of about 120–150 backwards-pointing spines, which are about one millimeter long; upon withdrawal of the penis, the spines rake the walls of the females vagina, which is a trigger for ovulation. This act also occurs to clear the vagina of other sperm in the context of a second or more mating, thus giving the later males a larger chance of conception.

The male cats don’t just get some action. They rake the female clean of any other guys.

From Wikipedia.

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Muscovy ducks get super-fast erections and have twisty vaginas — for rape and counter-rape

Female Muscovy ducks have spirally, squiggly vaginas that keep out undesired penises. For desired penises, they simply relax their muscles to allow entry. They have evolved this capacity while male Muscovy ducks have evolved 8-inch penises that get fully-erect in a third of a second.

Friends, duck sex is a high-stakes world.

From Wired, via OMG Facts.

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I’m so bored I could eat a penis

090d46b554fec67b5e4109e6d4af13c89f0e5ab1 m Im so bored I could eat a penis

I don’t know what makes this funny.

Via Ffffound.

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Regarding the Thing’s penis

Stan Lee, when asked about Fantastic Four member (ahem) the Thing’s penis:

“I guess common sense would say it was made of orange rock too,” said Lee.

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Religion is like a penis

 Religion is like a penis

From 9Gag.

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Rammstein’s boxset gives you their dicks

The new Rammstein boxset includes dildos molded after the band members’ penises.

UPDATE: Apparently, the dildos are not based on their penises. Sadly.

Via Metafilter

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Airport screener’s tiny penis revealed, reviled

In an exercise with one of those new scanners that reveal all the contours of your body, a TSA employee’s tiny penis was revealed to his co-worker. They made fun of him about it, until he couldn’t take it any more. From Gizmodo:

According to the arrest report, Negrin said “he could not take the jokes any more and lost his mind,” so he accosted his co-worker Hugo Osorno in an employee parking lot, where he “forced Osorno to his knees and made him apologize before whacking him on the back and arms with the baton.”

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