Wisdom from Allison Davis at The Hairpin:
I was on the subway in Boston on my way to a party around 11 p.m. when some guy got on the train alone, wasted. Not in a fun way, either. I mean like slurring his slurs, sweating vodka. When he focused his eyes on me and practically belched a “herro,” I nodded and said hi back, then kept on with my thousand-yard stare (but engaging the hell out of my peripherals). At the next stop, a well-dressed business man with matching luggage got on. The drunk said hi. The businessman said nothing. The drunk tried again, louder, “HIIIII.” The businessman clearly ignored him, and even turned away. The drunk had a moment of clarity and said, for the entire train to hear, “I know what’s happening. You think because I’m a drunk you think you’re better than me. That it? You think you’re better than me? I got news for you buddy. I may be drunk, but I ain’t dumb. And I’ma puke allllll over your nice ass luggage, you asshole.” And you know what? THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DID. HE VOMITED ALL OVER THIS MAN’S LUGGAGE. Conveniently, I got off at the next stop for my party. But I never forgot: someone says hi to you, you say hi back.