About
My name is Jeff, and I write this blog. I work as an interface designer in Denver, CO. I am also an amateur musician and an atheist.
Monthly Archives: June 2010
Real vampires spell vampire with a y
Republican vampire Jonathon Sharkey has issued a challenge to Robert Pattinson.
I hope you will print this response to The Hollywood Reporter’s story that Twilight Vampyre Wannabe Robert Pattinson is related to Vlad Tepes Dracula.
…
Personally if that boy thinks he’s from Vlad’s bloodline, then let him prove it, in the way Vlad would… On a field of battle! As the US Secret Service will attest, I am Vlad to the bone. Unlike Pattinson, I am a warrior and a true Vampyre.
If he truly wants to prove his Vlad heritage, then I challenge him to face me on a field of battle. Let see which one of us is “VLAD TO THE BONE!” Not a Hollywood pretty boy!
…
Do Svidaniya,
Nel Sangue,
Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey (R)
Presidential Candidate
Rammstein’s boxset gives you their dicks
The new Rammstein boxset includes dildos molded after the band members’ penises.
UPDATE: Apparently, the dildos are not based on their penises. Sadly.
Tagged boxsets, dildos, penises, rammstein 2 Comments
Lunatic followed God to hunt down Osama bin Laden
Colorado’s own Gary Brooks Faulkner is a lunatic criminal who went to Pakistan to hunt down Osama bin Laden. He was arrested with a gun, a sword, and night-vision goggles. He claims he got within shooting distance of his target.
“How does one go about trying to find Osama bin Laden?” asked the interviewer.
“You don’t. You let the spirit guide you and unless you have the spirit of God, not the Mother Mary or some Mohammad or something like that. God almighty has to put his hand on you. I’ve been protected,” Faulkner said.
Tagged holy war, lunatics, osama bin laden Leave a comment
Rory Reid is just Rory
From Wonkette: Rory Reid is running for governor of Nevada. He’s also Harry Reid’s son. Of course, that is a sticky association, what with all the resentment against the national Democratic party. So what is Rory Reid’s solution? His website rory2010.com is conspicuously shy about mentioning his last name. The site content consistently refers to him as just Rory. Like some kind of cartoon character. Check it out. It’s weird.
Tagged harry reid, rory reid Leave a comment
It’s Robert Boyle’s world. You just live in it
In the 17th century, Robert Boyle made a wish list. Because he didn’t ask for hover cars, most of his wishes have come true.
”The Prolongation of Life” – health improvements mean we are now living longer.
”The Recovery of Youth, or at least some of the Marks of it, as new Teeth, new Hair colour’d as in youth” – Botox, plastic surgery, teeth-capping, hair dye, transplants.
”The Art of Flying” – planes.
”The Art of Continuing long under water, and exercising functions freely” – submarines and scuba gear.
”The Cure of Diseases at a distance or at least by Transplantation” – transplants and keyhole surgery.
”The Emulating of Fish without Engines by Custome and Education” – free diving.
”Strength and Agility … exemplify’d by that of Frantick Epileptick and Hystericall persons” – steroids.
”The Acceleration of the Production of things out of Seed” – GM crops.
”The making of Parabolicall and Hyperbolicall Glasses” – spectacles and telescopes.
”Making Armor light and extremely hard” – Kevlar.
”The practicable and certain way of finding Longitudes” – satellite navigation.
”A ship to saile with All Winds” – boats with engines.
”Perpetuall Light” – bulbs.
”Varnishes perfumable by Rubbing” – scratch-and-sniff.
”Transmutation of Species in Mineralls, Animals, and Vegetables” – synthetic biology, genetic engineering.
The longest tennis match in history is still going
American John Isner (pictured) and Frenchman Nicolas Mahut are stuck at 58-59 in the longest tennis match ever, spanning three days and nearly ten hours. Wimbledon really needs a way to deal with ties. Update: They need a third day.
