Jonathan Katz

The Onion interviews Jonathan “Doctor” Katz

AVC: You were a ping-pong champion until you went to college, and that was that?

JK: It’s a great place to meet chicks, by the way.

AVC: College, or ping-pong?

JK: Both. David Mamet and I used to travel around hustling people. We’d go from college to college, and I’d let him beat me. We’d pretend we were playing for money, and then David would say, “If you want to play me, you have to beat my friend first.”

I’m not proud of this lifestyle. My favorite hustle was, I would spot somebody 15 points, and during every point, I had to recall some really painful experience from my adolescence.

AVC: You were saying them out loud as you were playing?

JK: No. It was the honor system.

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